Quotes and Sayings

Christmas is about love, family, getting homesick, being lonely if you are alone, and the cold. And most of the Christmas Quotations are Cute anyway. here are some cute Christmas quotes that you can scribble some scrapbooks with..

“Christmas is the Disneyfication of Christianity”

“A merry Christmas to everybody! A happy New Year to all the world!”

“Christmas is a time when you get homesick - even when you’re home.”

“Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we’re here for something else besides ourselves.”

“There has been only one Christmas - the rest are anniversaries. “

Some things that you can use on your Christmas Cards:

This one is by Charles Dickens:
I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys.

“A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.”

“Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money. ”

I am not alone at all, I thought. I was never alone at all. And that, of course, is the message of Christmas. We are never aone. Not when the night is darkest, the wind coldest, the word seemingly most indifferent. For this is still the time God chooses.”
Christmas is for children. But it is for grown-ups too. Even if it is a headache, a chore, and nightmare, it is a period of necessary defrosting of chill and hide-bound hearts.

“The earth has grown old with its burden of care But at Christmas it always is young, The heart of the jewel burns lustrous and fair And its soul full of music breaks the air,”

“My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?”

Today is september 19th, the International Talk Like a Pirate Day (ITLAPD). ITLAPD is a parodic holiday invented in 1995 by John Baur and Mark Summers , of the United States, who proclaimed September 19 each year as the day when everyone in the world should talk like a pirate.Ahoy Mate! The date was selected because it was the birthday of Summers’s ex-wife and consequently would be easy for him to remember.

I grew up reading about John Long Silver, and sang Fifteen Men on the dead men’s chest and a bottle of rum. Jack Sparrow again rekindled my old love affair with Pirates, and here on The International talk like a Pirate Day, lets have some Pirate Sayings!

“Bring me one noggin of rum, now, won’t you, matey.”

“Dead men don’t bite”

“Fifteen men on the dead man’s chest — Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!”

“The sea has never been friendly to man. At most it has been the accomplice of human restlessness.”

“Excuse me, madam, would you please be so kind as to bring me a spot of rum? I would like to have a drink.”

“There is more treasure in books than in all the pirate’s loot on Treasure Island.”

“Merchant and pirate were for a long period one and the same person. Even today mercantile morality is really nothing but a refinement of piratical morality.”

“Where there is a sea there are pirates”

“Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.”

“Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates”

“It is when pirates count their booty that they become mere thieves.”

“It’s not everyday you get to do a pirate movie, you might as well go for it. ”

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Here is a collection of Short Funny Quotes that I found funny. I hope you will find them interesting. You are welcome to add your quotes in the comment.

This is a a funny one.. “Thank God I’m an atheist.”

“My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.” I am glad my Mom never calls me that. How about Bastard?

“In America anyone can become president. That’s the problem” . Look at Bush!!

“You’re slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.” Just imagine!!

I like this one, and follow this to the Tee. ” Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.”

“I’m not offended by all the dumb-blonde jokes because I know that I’m not dumb. I also know I’m not blonde”. This is what I call a witty remark.

“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” Couldn’t give up drinking, could I?

This one is classic, and very funny to think of it. “Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.”

“Avoid hangovers: stay drunk.” Thats what we should do, and what with water getting scarce.

“Men don’t care what’s on TV. They only care what else is on TV.” - Jerry Seinfeld . So true Jerry, we just need the remote. On that note I remember another joke where the Girl took the Remote to the shopping mall coz the Boy friend won’t come for shopping and it was the most evil thing she could think of.

“Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.”

” I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. ”

“Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.” This one is funny, and can be found at funny birthday quotes.

“The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.”

“I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.” Very funny.

“Procrastination is the greatest laborsaving invention of all time.” And I would add, the most common habit.

“A good lawyer knows the law; a clever one takes the judge to lunch.”

“Nobody goes there anymore because it’s too crowded.” And it is still crowded?

And a few more funny quotes like

“I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.”

“I don’t pray because I don’t want to bore God.”

“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”

“A word to the wise ain’t necessary - it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.”

“Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. ”

“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.”

“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.”

“Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.”

“I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it through not dying.”