Quotes and Sayings

Some Sarcastic Quotes for fun.

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”

“You have delighted us long enough.”
~ Jane Austen

“The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.”

“I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.”
~ Mark Twain

“Stay with me; I want to be alone”
~Joey Adams

“It’s always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.”
~ Paul Newman

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.”
~ Irvin S. Cobb

“When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.”
~ Eric Hoffer

“If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.”

“I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.”

“I’m not sure what’s wrong… But it’s probably your fault.”

“This place is so weird that the cockroaches have moved next door.”

“It ain’t the jeans that make your butt look fat. ”

“Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.”
~Ashleigh Brillant

“You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse.”

“A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good. ”

“Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places. ”

“The trouble with a kitten is that it eventually becomes a cat.”
~ Ogden Nash

This entry was posted on Monday, December 10th, 2007 at 9:19 am and is filed under Funny Quotes, Life Quotes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.