Quotes and Sayings

“I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.”

“Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.”

“Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present”

“Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your feet. ”

“Even before Christmas has said Hello, it’s saying ‘Buy Buy’. ”

“The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.”

“A Christmas shopper’s complaint is one of long-standing.”

“The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.”

“What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.”