Choosing the Right Half!
The other day I received a call from very close friend of mine. I was just leaving from work and was wondering why had he chosen to call me on a busy work day when I know that he generally chats only on weekends…when he suddenly said…’do you have some time? I want to ask you something’. I was surprised…he’s the kind who is very confident about himself and prides on this fact…his voice sounded very diffident and unsure…
I realized that this was a personal matter…and he was uncomfortable asking me to help him. So I went ahead and said…yeah…tell me…how’s life?
The answer was “so how did you know you made the right choice in Sid (my better half!)?”…Howzzat for a direct reply to a simple question! Well…err…excuse me…why are u asking me this? I have been married for dogs’ years….well if a dog lives for 8 years…then certainly… And in all probability I was drunk when I said ‘Yes’… ( But he is an Ideal husband)
Hmm…but I guess that was not the right time to crack a joke!
So, I went at it patiently and tried to draw out the root problem. And there it came out, “ We’ve been dating for the last 2 years and I am ready to commit…but she’s unsure…she keeps asking me…what if this and what if that…I cant promise that everything will remain the same…how can I convince her of my commitment to her? She knows that she loves me and I love her too, but she’s not sure that this is THE person! ”
Well….I started gabbing and went on and on…And at the end of it…guess what…he says…I love you…I think she should meet you…boy was I floored! Here’s that sensible advice that I hope will help all you couples out there thinking of commitment…Either it gets you into permanent commitment phobia or you’ll jump in saying yippee…Zindagi Rocks! (Translation: Zindagi= Life)
The three basic rules to tell you if he’s the one or not!
There’s no such person as a perfect man or woman – For all of you out there waiting for that knight in shining armor, be prepared…he’ll probably be stinking under the armor and those socks under the boots…!!! Eww…yeah baby….that’s how it works…the first reality in life…if you aint perfect, betcha no one is. What matters here is…how big is that defect and how big do you find it? If you’re ultra clean and he’s a dirty pig…are you ok to clean up after him or is he ok to mend his ways? Or is that just a temporary irritation that melts when he looks at you with that puppy dog face? If its just a dot in the picture, chances are you can live with it…but if its just the dot that you can see in the entire picture…I think its time u visited the optician or changed the picture!
There are no guarantees in life – Anyone who gives you a guarantee…and I mean the ‘no questions asked…guaranteed to last for life’…on any product…living or non-living…doesn’t exist! I cant give you a guarantee that as I am sitting here typing these very words, lightning wont strike my cable connection and freeze me into ’shocked’ posterity like the ‘center shock’ ad! Heck…nothing comes with a guarantee. What you see is what you get…and if that changes…well honey, like they say…’The only constant thing in life is change’. Enjoy each moment of happiness, savor the present and hope for the best in the future. That’s the only way you can find that elusive thing we call ‘happiness’. If you agree with me…go on girl…you may be on the right track.
Love me…love my family - Well, one mistake most people that I know who broke up after marriage, made…was to think that they marry only the person. Well he is who he is because of his family and his surroundings. And whether he hates them or loves them, they have influenced him at a very critical stage in his life…his childhood. Like they say…child is the father of man! Every man has that child hidden…and if you must love him, you must find that child and love that child too…so if you share his feelings about his family and feel the same way he does…bingo…you’ve got a great thing going. Otherwise, there’s bound to be some heartache and nasty arguments down the line…
The six golden rules of compatibility:
Both spend money the same way – If he’s all into stocks and retirement savings and you love to splurge on the latest designer outfit and cant remember your bank balance… one of you will always be cribbing over the way the other spends money.
Both have the same sense of humor – Both love cartoons? Both love watching FRIENDS? Both think Jerry Seinfeld is the funniest guy on TV? You will sail through all the stormy days if u can both laugh together, at the same things.
Both have the same values – Do you both hate injustice, cheating, cruelty to animals, both believe in the same cause? Or does he feel its ok to bribe a cop? You’ll find that you grow emotionally together, helping each other when you share the same values.
You can look beyond the physical stuff and still find lots to discover – Do you think you will love him even when he’s bald and fat? Will find him endearing for all those little quirks and traits that annoy you now? Or do you think the only thing you both have in common is your sex drive?
You’re not ok when he’s not ok - Are you disturbed when he’s stressed and snappy? Or would you rather like him only when he’s pleasant and witty?
Both agree over whether or not to have children - Does the thought of children make you think of nappies, potty and Dettol? And he thinks they’re god’s precious gifts? Or do you both go ga-ga when you see a baby gurgle?
As long as you know that you have these six rules right, you just cant go wrong in saying ‘Yes, I do!’ As to my friend…well…I’ll let you know soon…
~Guest Blogger Savi
